Wednesday, September 26, 2012

What should we call mursing VOL 8

The moment when you realize how much clinical paperwork you have due each semester

Friday, September 21, 2012

Top 10 most applicable hip-hop songs to nursing school (PT 1)

Going through nursing you experience a pretty wide range of emotions, from pretty crazy high's (like the day you got accepted) to soul crushing lows (the first time you really screwed up in clinical). I would do a top 10 "Songs that apply to Nursing School" but I would run the risk of A. Opening the door for Bieber songs to be eligible. and B.  Not being able to show what a hip-hop hipster I am. 

Besides who does not naturally correlate nursing with hip-hop? I know as soon as I think about nursing the first thing that pops into my mind is dudes rapping about: money, women, and drugs. There is no more appropriate genre for a top ten list.

Each song will have: a most appropriate moment in nursing school, most fitting line, link to the song (who doesn't have 30-45 minutes to spare listening to obscure hip-hop songs on an obscure blog?), and GIF that captures the moment and song perfectly.

Remember this is nursing school related so ultimately this is one big time waster.

BONUS. Marvin's Room- Drake

The song (with an altered audio YAY COPYRIGHT LAWS!!!) 

The most applicable line: "I see all of my friends here
Guess she (or he) don't have the time to kick it no more"

The nursing school application: This song is our token break up song. Nursing school is actually the second leading cause of break-ups in the united states behind marriage. I remember when we started Nursing School one of our teachers Teacher-X was like "Yeah you probably won't make it through school with the same boyfriend/girlfriend you are with now" we all chuckled and went on our merry way. Little did we know nursing school would start stalking couples like characters in a horror film RIP to all the happy relationships done in by nursing school

#10 Missing You- P.diddy/Diddy/ Sean Combs/ Puff Daddy/ WHATEVER HIS NAME IS NOW

Most applicable line:" This goes out to everyone who has lost someone"

Application to Nursing School: This goes out to all the victims of that one class in your program that is notorious for weeding out the pretenders. In my case it was pathophysiology. Our patho class was during the first semester taught by a teacher who was famous for her impossible tests and partying abilities. The overwhelming sense of constant doom that goes along with being a first semester nursing student combined with the test questions meant that a large % of our class was close to the pass/fail mark. Seriously this would be an example question from a patho test:

B2-adrenergic agonist's do which of the following: 

A. Purple
B. The declaration of independence 
C. B/C=C^2 
D. A &B
E. A & C
F. B & C

Naturally we would go ask our teacher questions like "Hey whats the English version of this question???" she would look at us and say something really helpful like "You should have studied harder" or "Mmmmmmmm"

I'm not bitter though.

Related GIF: 

#9 I don't wanna care right now- Lupe Fiasco

Applicable line: "No, I don't, I really don't wanna care right now"

Application to nursing: This is pretty simple, this is exactly how I felt after taking tests and how I often felt when friends would complain to me about how busy or hard their school was. Nursing school makes you an expert at two things: 1. bed baths and 2. The "Oh yeah thats nice" smile and nod when a non-nursing major talks about their really tough world lit class


Related GIF: 

#8 Till I collapse- Eminem

Most applicable line: "Cause sometimes you just feel tired. You feel weak and when you feel weak you feel like you just wanna give up. But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength and just pull that ISH out of you and get that motivation to not give up"

Application to nursing school: this is for every moment that you are so unbelievably tired that you feel like you can sleep for weeks and weeks, but unfortunately you have a full clinical day followed by yet another all nighter studying for a test that will decide your future. So basically this is for every moment. 

Related GIF: 

#7 Power- Kanye West


Application to nursing school: Teachers with too much power, doctor's ( ALSO APPLIES TO FEMALES THIS IS A SEMI-POLITICALLY CORRECT BLOG LETS ALL CALM DOWN) people in charge of the crash cart, charge nurses, and my personal favorite anonymous nursing student bloggers

Related GIF: 

#6 Awesome- XV

Most applicable line: "Cause I feel so awesome, how ya feel awesome? Well I guess that's awesome"

Ok so XV may not be the best lyricist, I mean rhymed "awesome" with "awesome" with "awesome" but....

Application to nursing school:....who hasn't felt this way at least a few times in nursing school. PERSONAL STORY ALERT. For me this song best applies to getting accepted. Our school looks at: grades, interview score, and experience (shadowing or work). I had good grades in undergrad but I was unbelievably nervous going into the interview. I really don't like interviews you have to brag on yourself and I AM EXTREMELY INCREDIBLY HUMBLE, i could do an entire blog about my humility. Seriously, the list of applicable nicknames goes: Honest Abe, Baracka flocka flame Obama, The Black Mamba (Kobe), and Captain humility (me). Actually, the real reason I don't like interviews is the questions, anytime someone will be asking you questions like: "So captain humility if your nursing essence had a spirit animal what would that animal be and why?!" i'm out. For the record my nursing spirit animal is in fact a Liger. Anyway I was sure I had bombed the interview, to make it worse all of my friends that applied were getting accepted and I got no letter. After about two weeks I was sure I had botched my interview badly enough that I wouldn't be getting in, I was already looking into changing my name and applying to a school that offered a twitter major #brightfuture. So finally my mom calls (she had been out of town for about a week and a half) and in between the sobbing I make out the words "letter" "proud" and "school". After putting on my critical thinking cap and going Sherlock Holmes I deducted that I made it in, I put on this song and called it a day

Related GIF: 

This turned out much longer than I expected so part two will go up this weekend. Be safe and save lives 

Saturday, September 15, 2012

My top five least favorite mursing clinical skills SO FAR

Let me preface this by saying that like most mursing students, clinical rotations are the highlight of school for me and there no other moment that makes you feel more legit than the first time you put an IV in a patient and you walk around the rest of the day like 

However, there are some things in clinical I could do without. While I could talk about stuff that is universal to everyone (like all of the completely pointless paperwork) I decided to focus on the skills that I have found to be the most dreadful. I'm going to follow this up eventually with a top five favorite skills but, everyone knows in mursing school NEGATIVITY COMES FIRST

#5.  Blood Glucose testing

So this might cause some confusion. You might be saying to yourself "Blood glucose testing? What sort of crappy murse are you that's EASY". 

1. You are talking to yourself and probably crazy- blame nursing school and get some counselling. 
2. You need to understand my background with blood glucose testing

One of my first days of clinical I was doing blood glucose testing. Having never done it before and being extremely nervous because I still had no idea what I was doing in the hospital I managed to stick the patient 5 times before I could get the blood glucose monitor to read. I literally used three different machines and entered and exited the room about 4 times over thirty minutes before I could manage to get a good reading. To this day I have a deep innate fear of having to test someones blood glucose. In my mind I can just see myself regressing back to that fateful day and having a complete emotional breakdown, in this hypothetical scenario my inadequacy shakes me so bad I go on too fail the semester, drop out of mursing school and work at a Taco Bell as a "Nacho Specialist" for the rest of my life. If I fail mursing school, don't say I didn't warn you in advance.

#4. Bed Bath's

I understand the need for bed bath's but i'm not sure I will ever get to the day where I am like "DIRTY PATIENT?!?! YES, SCORE!! LET ME GO GET MY WASHCLOTH OF PURITY READY. CAN'T WAIT TO SCRUB HIM/HER DOWN!" and as a murse you tend to get called in a lot more for bed baths. A floor nurse will be like I need to bath a patient who wants to help and everyone kinda just stares at you like 

#3.  Inserting a rectal tube

I actually haven't done this one yet. I tend to evaporate when it looks like someone will be called on to insert a rectal tube, I quickly begin asking around if any nurse's need a blood glucose done (knowing this will take me a good 15 minutes) and BOOM, rectal tube averted. I can only imagine though, rectal tubes combine two things I am not too big on: body orifices, and poop.

#2. STD Testing

If you haven't done this yet you are in for a treat! Nothing makes your day like a good old G&C swab

#1. Inserting Catheter's

I mean if you honestly enjoy cath'ing someone bless you, also please work with me and you can do all of mine for me. But, besides the obvious reasons for not liking this: popping the personal space bubble big time, #awkward, nerve racking when you are being watched by like six people. I also hate this because it's sterile. Sterile procedures are pretty tough for me. Once I get past step one everything is fine but let's talk about the gloves. I have big hands and those hands get sweaty when i'm nervous (like say when i'm trying to put on sterile gloves). Undoubtedly whoever packages the catheter's expects the nurses to be 5-6 years old because those gloves are tiny. This inevitably leads to a scene where I hop around the room struggling to put the gloves on kinda like the guy in this GIF

While the patient looks on like this-

and tries to figure out if I am being attacked by invisible wasps or if I enjoy spontaneous dancing. It almost always ends with me ripping the gloves, asking for a larger pair and then crying myself to sleep at night while I have nightmares about blood glucose testing.

What's your least favorite clinical skill?

What should we call mursing VOL 7

The day I saw my first rectal tube

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The most interesting Murse in the world

He is the most interesting murse in the world

What should we call mursing VOL 6

When a clinical instructor asks you what some obnoxiously-long-named rare drug does and you have no idea

AIDET, the essential mursing tool

People sometimes ask me, Murse among men you alpha murse how do you manage to provide such fabulous mursing care?

Well its actually easy. There are a few simple rules to follow in any situation. Just follow these rules and you will always be able to provide top notch mursing care. I have broken this down in simple AIDET form for you

A- Attitude. Patients will have it, so should you. Sometimes the situation may get out of hand so you always need to carry your Axe 
I- Initiative. Let others take it, taking initiative never ends well. Ever. Also intelligence, all murses have it and exert it in any situation 
D- Dominate. Dominate every patient and situation ALWAYS
E- Excellence. You may not have it but always fake it
T- Tabasco. Great enema, great for the eyes, great mursing tool. And Twist the nipples, the best painful stimuli