Saturday, September 15, 2012

My top five least favorite mursing clinical skills SO FAR

Let me preface this by saying that like most mursing students, clinical rotations are the highlight of school for me and there no other moment that makes you feel more legit than the first time you put an IV in a patient and you walk around the rest of the day like 



However, there are some things in clinical I could do without. While I could talk about stuff that is universal to everyone (like all of the completely pointless paperwork) I decided to focus on the skills that I have found to be the most dreadful. I'm going to follow this up eventually with a top five favorite skills but, everyone knows in mursing school NEGATIVITY COMES FIRST

#5.  Blood Glucose testing

So this might cause some confusion. You might be saying to yourself "Blood glucose testing? What sort of crappy murse are you that's EASY". 

1. You are talking to yourself and probably crazy- blame nursing school and get some counselling. 
2. You need to understand my background with blood glucose testing

One of my first days of clinical I was doing blood glucose testing. Having never done it before and being extremely nervous because I still had no idea what I was doing in the hospital I managed to stick the patient 5 times before I could get the blood glucose monitor to read. I literally used three different machines and entered and exited the room about 4 times over thirty minutes before I could manage to get a good reading. To this day I have a deep innate fear of having to test someones blood glucose. In my mind I can just see myself regressing back to that fateful day and having a complete emotional breakdown, in this hypothetical scenario my inadequacy shakes me so bad I go on too fail the semester, drop out of mursing school and work at a Taco Bell as a "Nacho Specialist" for the rest of my life. If I fail mursing school, don't say I didn't warn you in advance.

#4. Bed Bath's

I understand the need for bed bath's but i'm not sure I will ever get to the day where I am like "DIRTY PATIENT?!?! YES, SCORE!! LET ME GO GET MY WASHCLOTH OF PURITY READY. CAN'T WAIT TO SCRUB HIM/HER DOWN!" and as a murse you tend to get called in a lot more for bed baths. A floor nurse will be like I need to bath a patient who wants to help and everyone kinda just stares at you like 



#3.  Inserting a rectal tube

I actually haven't done this one yet. I tend to evaporate when it looks like someone will be called on to insert a rectal tube, I quickly begin asking around if any nurse's need a blood glucose done (knowing this will take me a good 15 minutes) and BOOM, rectal tube averted. I can only imagine though, rectal tubes combine two things I am not too big on: body orifices, and poop.

#2. STD Testing

If you haven't done this yet you are in for a treat! Nothing makes your day like a good old G&C swab

#1. Inserting Catheter's

I mean if you honestly enjoy cath'ing someone bless you, also please work with me and you can do all of mine for me. But, besides the obvious reasons for not liking this: popping the personal space bubble big time, #awkward, nerve racking when you are being watched by like six people. I also hate this because it's sterile. Sterile procedures are pretty tough for me. Once I get past step one everything is fine but let's talk about the gloves. I have big hands and those hands get sweaty when i'm nervous (like say when i'm trying to put on sterile gloves). Undoubtedly whoever packages the catheter's expects the nurses to be 5-6 years old because those gloves are tiny. This inevitably leads to a scene where I hop around the room struggling to put the gloves on kinda like the guy in this GIF

While the patient looks on like this-


and tries to figure out if I am being attacked by invisible wasps or if I enjoy spontaneous dancing. It almost always ends with me ripping the gloves, asking for a larger pair and then crying myself to sleep at night while I have nightmares about blood glucose testing.

What's your least favorite clinical skill?

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